Enjoying Everyday Life
By Phil Cooke

The Los Angeles Times recently reported that cell phone use in Korea revealed remarkable information about where our digital culture may be heading. They discovered Korean teenagers make up to 90 cell phone calls a day, and social scientists are now beginning to correlate high cell use with rising rates of depression. For some time I’ve noticed that many young people value their digital life as much as (if not more than) their real life. A friend of my daughter sent 2,500 text messages last month (that's more than 84 per day).

Add to that another recent study released by the Knight Ridder news service revealing that Americans are reporting fewer and fewer close friends. In 1985 pollsters noted that the average person reported having three close friends, but today it's only two. And the number of people who say they have no one to discuss important matters with has doubled to one in four. The social implications are significant: no friends to visit people in the hospital, weakened bonds during crisis, fewer watchdogs to deter neighborhood crime, and a lack of community overall.

Technology has brought wonderful changes to our lives. Through computers, cell phones and more, it’s made a dramatic difference in our business and personal lives. But at the same time, we need to be aware of how the digital universe is impacting our relationships. Thanks to the news media, we’re already aware of Internet scams that prey on seniors, the explosion of online pornography, and online predators who directly target minors for sex. But one of my biggest concerns is how it affects our behavior.

I used to enjoy the radio or CD player when driving, but now I feel compelled to do business on my cell phone whenever I’m behind the wheel. Likewise, in London recently, I met businessmen who couldn’t even go to the bathroom without checking their email…at the same time!

So what’s to be done? The advance of technology isn’t stopping, so are we destined to live our lives in isolation? Although the situation is certainly getting worse, here’s what we can do to get our lives back on track:

First, take a media fast. I love movies, television, and the Internet, but from time to time it’s important to take a break. When you get that urge to check your email during a funeral or text message the person in the next cubicle, it might be time for a media fast. Take a day or two off and see what happens. Recently, an email glitch deleted about thirty messages in my inbox. I was horrified. But guess what? Nothing happened. I didn’t lose any clients, no projects missed a deadline, and no one else even noticed. Learn to turn it off!

Second, be more aggressive about developing personal relationships. In a world where few people have close friends, expand your community and get to know people. Enlarge your network of really close friends.

Third, encourage community building. Through your neighborhood, business or local church, spend time developing “community.” Be proactive in creating more face-to-face activities that encourage friendships and develop deeper relationships among friends and associates to accomplish the greater good. Remember that it was community relationships, not political action committees or nonprofits, that created the world’s greatest movements for civil rights, education, humanitarian work and more.

Where are we going as a culture if our digital life replaces our real life? The lure of technology means that we must be active in developing personal relationships. Remember: mass media is a wonderful tool, but ultimately, real community happens face-to-face.











Phil Cooke, PhD is president and creative director of Cooke Pictures in Santa Monica, California, and a media consultant to some of the largest churches and ministries in America. He publishes a free monthly e-newsletter for Christians interested in the culture, called Ideas for Real Change. www.philcooke.com