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The "Too Much Bunch"
We live in a fast-paced society. Nobody seems to have enough time. I like to call most of my fellow citizens the "too much bunch."
by Don Colbert, M.D.
We have too much to do, too much debt, too many commitments, too much clutter…and as a result we have too many frustrations!
I believe that the majority of our feelings of frustration are a result of distortional expectations. In other words, we expect people and circumstances in our lives to be a certain way, and when they’re not, we’re disappointed. When our expectations are not met, anger and impatience are often added to our frustration. Not only do these feelings keep us from enjoying our lives, but they also increase the risk of high blood pressure, high cholesterol and obesity. The good news is that we can eliminate most of our distorted expectations by reprogramming our minds and hearts. Let’s look at some examples of how frustration affects our bodies and what we can do to reduce it.
Frustration Triggers Stress
Bill was constantly in a hurry and nearly always running late. He complained of being in debt "up to his eyeballs" and talked about needing to work longer hours and make more sales. Bill was stuck in a rut of frustration. He had high blood pressure, high cholesterol and was struggling with obesity.
Frustration stimulates the stress response. Blood vessels constrict, blood pressure rises, and the sympathetic nervous system goes into overdrive. Once we are frustrated, our tendency is to fall into a cycle of aggravation. We begin thinking that the solution is to get busier—working more, having more, doing more. Frustration then becomes a bad habit that needs to be broken.
Frustration As a Habit
A woman walked into her doctor’s office with a broken nose. She told her doctor that another driver had gotten upset with her when she took the parking space he wanted. When she got out of her car, he approached her, ranting and raving, and proceeded to punch her in the nose. He was arrested and spent two years in jail.
The degree to which we become frustrated is related to our mental and emotional habits. Over the years we "practice" our response to certain situations. These responses become habitual and are stored in the amygdala—the brain’s emotional memory "storehouse." These responses become second nature. To change them we need to change what’s in the storehouse.
Not only do we program ourselves with emotional habits of frustration, we also program ourselves with habitual expressions of frustration. One common outward expression of internal frustration is explosive anger and rage. A common inward expression of frustration is seething resentment and bitterness.
When we explode outwardly, we stimulate the stress response, increasing our body’s adrenaline level. When we seethe inwardly with resentment, it triggers a different response that increases our body’s cortisol levels. Over time, both of these physical responses lead to cardiovascular disease. The cure for these habits of frustration begins in our thought life.
Frustration Starts In the Mind
I was scheduled to speak at a seminar in England. My wife and I were waiting in line to purchase train tickets just a few minutes before the train was scheduled to leave. We were next in line when two women stepped in front of us. When I said, "You can’t do that," one woman said, "Oh, yes, we can." At that moment I had a choice—become frustrated and angry or walk in love.
There are three particular thought processes that we need to learn to avoid in order to reduce our frustration level. The first one is giving up preconceived "should-do" behavior rules. For example, we may think that other people should be kind and polite, and when they’re not, we get frustrated. The truth is, we cannot force anybody to live up to our standards of character. Instead, our focus needs to be on our character and what we can do to love the people around us regardless of their behavior.(1)
A second common distortional thought process linked to frustration is jumping to conclusions. This means we think we know with 100 percent accuracy what someone else is thinking or planning to do. And when they prove us wrong, we get frustrated. Obviously, we can’t always know what people around us are thinking or planning to do. But we can learn not to jump to conclusions and choose to love them whether they do what we think they should or not.
The third type of thinking that often results in frustration is rehashing a problem or situation over and over in our mind. When we begin to mentally rehearse a stressful situation, our physiological stress response goes into high gear, releasing stress hormones into our body. The brain doesn’t know the difference between what is happening now and what happened years ago. When we think about a stressful situation, our body responds the same as if it’s actually happening. In order to be free of frustration and its unhealthy effects, these types of wrong thought patterns need to be replaced with right ones.
Frustration—Taking Control
After more than ten years of marriage, John left Jane while they were visiting friends in another state. They didn’t have an argument; he gave no reason. He just packed up his things and left, permanently. Every few months Jane would show up in my office with a medical ailment and rehash the whole story one more time.
I recommended two very important things for Jane to do to get free of frustration and anger. First, I encouraged her to begin praising and worshipping God with a thankful heart. Those who develop an attitude of gratitude and a strong trust in God have far fewer feelings of frustration, anger and resentment. To do this, one must distract themselves from the situation with wholesome activities such as Bible reading and good fellowship. We must also stop rehashing the story of what happened and trying to figure out why it happened.
The second and most important thing I encouraged Jane to do was take control of her thinking by choosing to think God’s way. Peace is released when we meditate on things that are true…noble…just…pure…lovely…of good report… (Philippians 4:8 NKJV). What is the opposite of frustration? Peace. How do we get peace? Change the way we think!
If you are living with continual frustration, you need to change the way you respond to the pressures and problems of life. Learn to resist habits of distortional thinking—stop expecting people to behave the way you think they should, don’t jump to conclusions, and refuse to rehash your problems. As you develop a new habit of thinking like God thinks, you will begin to exchange your frustration for His peace. 
(1) See John 13:34.
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This article is not intended to provide medical advice or take the place of medical advice and treatment from your personal physician. Readers are advised to consult your own doctors or other qualified health professionals regarding the treatment of your medical problems. Neither the publisher nor the author takes any responsibility for any possible consequences from any treatment, action or application of medicine, supplement, herb or preparation to any person regarding or following the information in this article.
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